Hello Smart Girls!

I’m so excited to show you what I’ve been up to for the past few months! Some of you know that a year ago, I began training with the fabulous Martha Beck to become a life coach so I could take my work with teen girls and young women to a whole new level. Today, almost one year to the day from when my training began, I’m happy to announce that I’m a certified Martha Beck Life Coach and I’ve just launched a new website and a bunch of special life coaching packages just for teens!

I’ve also written a brand new ebook, What Smart Girls Know: 10 Truths to Discovering You, which I’m offering for FREE to people who sign up for my new newsletter over at debbiereber.com. This book is a passion project I’ve had in my mind for years, but never published with a traditional publisher. I’m thrilled to be able to make it available to you now…gotta love technology!

Oh, and if you’re interested in life coaching, here some of the one-on-one coaching offerings I’ve put together specifically for teens and 20-somethings. You can get all the details on my new Coaching Page:

SELF-DISCOVERY 101

In a world where teens are bombarded with mixed, and often harmful, media messages, face ongoing pressure to be a “perfect good girl,” and are stuck somewhere between their big dreams and their current reality, it can be challenging to figure out what sparks their passion, let alone where they want it to take them in their lives. This eight-session one-on-one coaching program is aimed helping girls tune into what makes them uniquely them, identify their values and passions, understand the limiting beliefs that get in their way, and build a personal toolbox for moving forward in life in an authentic, purposeful, and powerful way. For motivated teen girls ages 13 – 19.

SIX-WEEK STRESS BUSTER

Today’s overscheduled, overprogrammed teens are dealing with unprecedented stress levels in their quest to be and do it all. This six-week one-on-one coaching program offers motivated teen girls ages 13-19 simple strategies for juggling it all, managing their stress, and creating more balance in their lives.

THE GOAL GETTER

Today’s teens are big dreamers, and as a collective, they’ve been told their whole life that they can do and be anything they can imagine. But many are missing the concrete strategies and skills they need to shift from imagine to action. This six-week one-on-one coaching program helps motivated teen girls ages 13-19 working toward a specific goal or goals imagine the possibilities, tackle fear and procrastination, create a foolproof plan of action, and set achievable goals.

ORGANIZE YOUR LIFE

For the busy teen juggling schoolwork, extracurriculars, and other obligations, a little organization can go a long way. This six-week one-on-one coaching program helps teens ages 13-19 understand the benefits of organizing all different aspects of their lives and give them solid organizational strategies and tools that will help them prioritize, save time, reduce the chaos in their life, and ultimately create a less-stressed life!

SENIOR YEAR SEND-OFF

Senior year of high school is an exciting, interesting, and often challenging time as big transitions are looming and teens find themselves at the intersection of their familiar high school existence and the unknown of what comes next. This six-week one-on-one coaching program helps motivated, college-bound high school senior girls hone in on their personal values, discover their voice, learn how to tackle fear, and create a strong foundation for personal self-care.

PROJECT YOU

Project You is a twelve-week coaching program for 20-somethings who are feeling stuck, trapped, and limited by their current reality. This intensive program helps 20-somethings hone in on their limiting beliefs, rewrite their personal story, reconnect with their purpose, imagine their ideal outcome, and gain the strategies and tools they need to make it happen.

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With the start of my new site, I’ve also launched a new blog which will feature less newsy news and more insight and reflections for young women. Therefore, I won’t be updating Smart Girls Know any longer. I will, however, keep this site up so you’ll continue to have access to the past 4 years worth of content, interviews, book reviews, affirmations, and more. Thanks so much for being a part of the Smart Girls Know community, and I hope you’ll join me over at debbiereber.com!

XOXO Debbie

I just saw a trailer for a soon-to-be-released film called One Day on Earth and had to share. On October 10, 2010 (10.10.10), across the planet, documentary filmmakers, students, and inspired citizens recorded the human experience over a 24-hour period and contributed their voice to the largest participatory media event in history. The result is this film, and it looks absolutely amazing. Here’s the trailer…see for yourself:

Here’s how the filmmakers describe their vision behind the film:

One Day on Earth creates a picture of humanity by recording a 24-hour period throughout every country in the world. We explore a greater diversity of perspectives than ever seen before on screen. We follow characters and events that evolve throughout the day, interspersed with expansive global montages that explore the progression of life from birth, to death, to birth again. In the end, despite unprecedented challenges and tragedies throughout the world, we are reminded that every day we are alive there is hope and a choice to see a better future together.

Can’t wait to see this!

In my books and on Smart Girls Know, I talk a lot about striving to “be in the moment.” It’s just one of my things – the way I try to live my life, focusing on the here and now instead of dwelling on the past or worrying too much about the future. As I’ve written before on Smart Girls Know, I know that by living in the present moment, you will:

• get the most out of every experience
• be more content and happier overall
• be much less stressed out
• see the possibilities in everything

This weekend, I had the opportunity put my money where my mouth is by truly being the moment, second by second, step by step, as I attempted to beat my personal best time in a 5K race.

Saturday morning, I ran the Iron Girl 5K in Seattle, joining more than 2,000 other girls and women for a fantastic event featuring a fast course around Greenlake and lots of powerful all-girl energy. For the past few years, I’ve thought about trying to beat my fastest 5K time, which I set in Central Park in 1997. I came close a few years ago, but haven’t been able to break my personal barrier of 23 minutes, 51 seconds.

I wasn’t sure if I was going to go for it on Saturday or not, since I’m still nursing a foot injury and hadn’t done any speed training this summer. But it was such perfect running weather and there was so much positive energy in the air, that sometime between lining up for the start and the beginning of the race, I decided I would go for it.

I knew exactly what average pace I had to run each mile in order to beat my time – a 7:40 mile. So I pushed it out of the gate and hit my target, running the first mile in 7:35. Ok, Debbie. Just keep it up for two more miles, and you’ll do it, I thought to myself. The problem was, I didn’t know if I actually could keep it up. My breathing was all over the place, I hadn’t found my stride yet, and the finish line at the other end of the lake seemed seriously far away. But I wasn’t ready to give up, so I focused on my pace, my rhythm, and not slowing down.

When I came upon the 2-mile marker, I looked down at my watch. 7:59. Yikes. I had expected mile 2 to be a little slower, but not that slow. I quickly did the math in my head. My next 1.1 mile had to kick some serious booty or I could kiss my new personal record goodbye.

So I sped up. And I stayed focused. The problem was, by this time, I was feeling extremely fatigued, I had a shoulder cramp, and this little voice in my head started messing with me, telling me there was no way I would beat the time, so why bother trying? Why not slow down the pace a bit and just enjoy the run. It’s not going to happen this year, no biggie.

But rather than listen to those thoughts, I replaced them with these: You can still do it. It’s still within your power to beat your time. It’s all about this moment, this step, this mile. Believe in every step that you can do it…the future hasn’t been determined yet!

I repeated these thoughts as I labored through the last mile, rounded the last turn, and spotted the finish line. I saw my husband and son (who curiously enough was holding up a sign he had made for me that said Go Under Sea Mom!) and that gave me an extra bolt of energy. I pushed my legs as fast as they would go, kicking in the last point one of a mile and crossing the finish line in… 23:55.

4 seconds shy of my record.

I caught my breath, and looked down at my watch where I’d clocked my splits. My last 1.1 mile, the one where I’d stayed present and repeated the mantra that I could do it, had almost been as fast as my first mile. It hadn’t been enough, but for some reason I didn’t feel defeated. Slightly bummed, yes. But more than that, I was happy that for the duration of the race, I had truly been in the moment – shoulder cramp, funky breathing, doubtful thoughts and all. No, I hadn’t beaten my personal record, but I came damn close, and I know that with speed training and more time to recover from my injury, I can do it. After all, the power is completely within me.

And when I do it, I promise to let you know!

XOXO Debbie

Smart Girls Know Affirmation: Smart Girls Know the Importance of BALANCE

Finding “balance” seems to be on everyone’s mind these days. You can’t turn your head without seeing a headline about balancing budgets, a food product promising you a balanced blend of carbs, fats, and proteins, or an article about how to balance work, life, and family.

But what is balance anyway? I like to think of it as a state of being where all the core aspects of who you are – mind, body, and soul – are being taken care of.

Sometimes the easiest way to define balance is to show what it isn’t. Here’s what being out of balance might look like:

• skipping meals when you’re stressed
• overeating to make yourself feel better
• getting so wrapped up in schoolwork that you forget to return a friend’s phone call
• putting exercise on the back-burner when life gets hectic
• spending so much time at your part-time job that your social life is nonexistent
• having trouble sleeping because you’ve got so many things on your mind

So what’s the problem with being off balance? Well, imagine walking across a tightrope. You’re doing fine when all of a sudden the rope starts to wobble and you’re so shaky that the slightest breeze could cause you to tumble.

It’s the same with life.

When you’re off balance, every little unexpected thing can throw you for a loop. But if you’re taking care of yourself and are in balance, you’re ready to handle the bumps in the road life throws at you.

So now the real question: How can you create more balance in your life? Here are a few ideas…

• Log your activities for a day (or a week) and see if you can notice any glaring imbalances (for example, are you all work and no play or visa versa?)
• Have periodic check-ins with yourself – every night before you go to bed, do an inventory in your head and see if you’re taking care of you (you ate well, you had some downtime, you did some school work, you laughed at least once)
• Discover the things that make you feel recharged (for me it’s going for a run, listening to the soundtrack for RENT, or hanging out with my girlfriends), and do one of these when you’re feeling like you need to get back on track.
• Start noticing what it feels like when you’re off balance so you’ll be better able to recognize the feeling and nip it in the bud

For more ideas on finding and keeping balance in your life, check out my new book Chill: Stress-Reducing Techniques for a More Balanced, Peaceful You!

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This Month’s MUST READ!

I’m happy to recommend teen writer Sondra Clark’s new book, , as this month’s must read.

I first read Sondra’s writing when she wrote a story for one of Chicken Soup books I was working on, The Real Deal: School, and have been impressed with her writing, her tenacity, and her thoughtful perspective ever since.

At age 16, Sondra has already written five books, has been the spokesperson for international causes, and has traveled the world. Let’s just say she’s wise beyond her years, and that comes through loud and clear in her new book, Snap 2 It. This fun, readable book is all about tackling teen challenges from a teen’s perspective, and touches upon things like staying upbeat no matter what is going on in your life, fun ways to forget your troubles and make other people happy, checklists and quizzes to help you figure out what you want in life, and ideas for feeling good about yourself and taking control of your life in a positive way.

I love this book because it speaks to so much of what Smart Girls Know is all about – keeping things in perspective, setting and reaching big goals, staying positive, and knowing that anything is possible. Sondra’s attitude is infectious, and I guarantee that you’ll walk away from reading this book feeling inspired, motivated, and happy.

Congrats to Sondra on this amazing accomplishment, and keep up the great work! To find out more about Sondra, visit her website here!

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Debbie Talks about CHILL in Simon Pulse’s Podcast of the Month

Each month my publisher, Simon Pulse, produces a podcast highlighting an author talking about his or her book. This month’s podcast features yours truly! In the podcast I talk about why I wrote my book “Chill: Stress-Reducing Techniques for a More Balanced, Peaceful You,” what I found most interesting while researching the subject matter, and why I think it will help teens everywhere reduce their stress and find more peace in their lives. You can listen to the podcast here or download it to your iPod. Check it out and let me know what you think!

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Contest Update

I’ve posted info on a bunch of contests and opportunities for teens on Smart Girls Know over the past month. Here are two opportunities with deadlines fast approaching. I’ll continue to post news of contests, competitions, and other cool opportunities as I find them! Good luck!

• Making a Difference Contest: Channel One (deadline May 9)
• The Nation Magazine Writing Contest (deadline May 31)

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.

—Buddha

For many of us, the idea of being “thankful” is a concept we’ve been aware since we were young. And on a day like today, being thankful is very much on our mind.

But how often do you truly experience the notion of thankfulness? It’s almost too easy to get caught up in everyday life and all the little things that go wrong – forgetting to do an important assignment, having a crush say he just wants to “be friends,” getting caught in the middle of a nasty fight between mom and dad, being ostracized by group of friends, feeling for certain that no one on the planet understands who you are or what you’re going through. But it’s times like these that being thankful – acknowledging something or someone in your life that brings you joy, comfort or safety – can actually have the most impact in your life. Here’s why…

Being thankful:

• shifts your focus away from the negative and towards the positive
• puts things in perspective by reminding you there is good in your life no matter how bad things get
• has a positive impact on your emotions and mental state of mind
• lowers your stress levels

Why not give it a try and see what the results are for you? For the next week, try being thankful for ONE THING every day. Yes, that’s right…ONE THING. And when I say “being thankful,” I’m talking about truly acknowledging and feeling the gratitude. Here are some ideas for things you might be thankful for in case you get stumped:

• your dog or cat (or other pet)
• your health
• your family
• a teacher
• your sense of humor
• your house or apartment
• your bed or bedroom
• your love of reading
• your natural talent (artistic, athletic, etc.)
• people who love you
• good friends
• food on the table
• movie theatre popcorn
• your favorite book or television show
• your ability to read
• a beautiful day
• the beach

Remember – even when it seems like there’s nothing to be grateful for, feeling gratitude about even the smallest thing can have a bigger impact than spending your time complaining about what’s missing in your life. You be the judge… let me know how it works for you!

And on that note…Happy Thanksgiving!

Peace & Love,

Debbie

When life gets hectic…I mean, really intensely crazy with deadlines, finals, pressure…stress, sometimes the best thing to do is the exact opposite of what you might think. Take a day off. That’s right, that’s what I said. TAKE A DAY OFF.

Have you ever seen a car stuck in the snow? The driver tries to floor it, but no matter what they do, that back wheel just keeps spinning around at top speed, going nowhere fast. Now apply that metaphor to life.

Think about it…have you ever been so stressed out and over-tired that you before you know it, you’ve re-read the same two sentences of Catcher in the Rye about twenty times and you still don’t know why Holden Caulfield got expelled from school. Taking a day for yourself to recharge and get re-inspired might be just what the doctor ordered.

10 Ideas For Your Day Off

1. Go to the movies: There’s nothing like a little escapism to instantly transport you to another world where your stresses don’t exist. And who knows…maybe the movie you choose to see will impart some wisdom to you that will apply to your classwork?
2. Go to a museum: Getting inspired from the masters, past and present, might help you tap into your creative side and find different approaches to handling your stress.
3. Take a break from TV & the computer: A day with no screen time? Give your eyes and your over-stimulated mind a break. You’ll not only feel calmer…you’ll have more time to devote to other things (like relaxing).
4. Volunteer: There’s no better way to put your stressful life in perspective than by devoting a few hours or an afternoon to helping out with one of your favorite causes.
5. Pamper yourself: Finding time for a massage, facial, pedicure, haircut…even a long bath at home, gives your body and soul the message that taking care of your well-being is a priority.
6. Go for a hike: If you live in the city, get out into the country. If you live in the country, head into town. Wherever you end up, wear comfortable shoes and walk, walk, walk. With each step, you’ll pound out some stress and do something great for your body at the same time.
7. Go to the zoo: What could be more zen than watching animals do their thing? A short trip to the zoo can be a great reminder of the wonders of nature, life, the universe and everything.
8. Read a book: Curl up on the couch, pull up your grandma’s crocheted afghan, and dive into a book (NOT a textbook or school work).
9. Organize or clean your bedroom: It might sound odd, but there’s something very zen and satisfying about putting everything in its place. Plus, cleaning and organizing can reduce your stress in the long run.
10. Spend time with your friends or family: At the end of the day, spending quality time with the people we love is really what life is all about, isn’t it?

When was the last time you took a day off? What did you do?

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NOTE: Today I was feeling particularly stressed (that’s why I’m only writing this affirmation tonight instead of first thing this morning!), so I followed my own advice – I went to the beach, did laundry, and spent some quality time with the fam.

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.

—Buddha

For many of us, the idea of being “thankful” is a concept we’ve been aware since we were young.

There’s Thanksgiving, of course. The day we sit around an oversized dining room table and gorge ourselves with a sampling of turkey, mashed potatoes, peas, corn and the like before propping our overstuffed selves in front of the TV to catch the end of the football game with Grandpa.

Then there’s the notion of saying, “Thank you” – something that our parents likely drummed into our heads over and over again as toddlers in their attempt to instill in us a little politeness.

For some of us, there’s saying our prayers, where we cap off our wish list to God by saying “thank you” for things like our dog, our house, our best friend.

But while the idea of being thankful is familiar to just about everyone, truly experiencing the notion of thankfulness is something that many of us don’t do often enough. We get caught up in our everyday lives and all the little things that are going wrong – forgetting to do an important homework assignment, having our crush tell us he just wants to “be friends,” losing our bid to be elected class president, getting caught in the middle of a nasty fight between mom and dad, being ostracized by our closest group of friends, feeling for certain that no one on the planet understands who we are or what we’re going through.

But it’s times like these that being thankful – acknowledging something or someone in your life that brings you joy, comfort or safety – can actually have the most impact in your life.

Being thankful:

• shifts your focus away from the negative and towards the positive
• puts things in perspective by reminding you there is good in your life no matter how bad things get
• has a positive impact on your emotions and mental state of mind
• lowers your stress levels

Why not give it a try and see what the results are for you? For the next week, try being thankful for ONE THING every day. Yes, that’s right…ONE THING. And when I say “being thankful,” I’m talking about truly acknowledging and feeling the gratitude. Here are some ideas for things you might be thankful for in case you get stumped:

• your dog or cat (or other pet)
• your health
• your family
• a teacher
• your sense of humor
• your house or apartment
• your bed or bedroom
• your love of reading
• your natural talent (artistic, athletic, etc.)
• people who love you
• good friends
• food on the table
• movie theatre popcorn
• your favorite book or television show
• your ability to read
• a beautiful day
• the beach

Remember – even when it seems like there’s nothing to be grateful for, feeling gratitude about even the smallest thing can have a bigger impact than spending your time complaining about what’s missing in your life. You be the judge… let me know how it works for you!

I got a letter this week from a girl who hopes to be a dancer someday. The only problem is, her guidance counselor at school told her that dreaming of a career as a dancer was basically useless. She was writing to me because she wanted to know if she should give up on her dream.

Her letter struck a chord with me, as I have vivid memories of being told that I was aiming too high or wasn’t being realistic when I shared my career dreams with people. One incident in particular sticks out in my mind. I was a wide-eyed freshman in college, thankful to have finally flown the coop and be on my own at a big university where I could make my own decisions. I had enrolled as a film major, just like my older sister Michele, and was envisioning working behind the scenes in film or TV production.

At some point during my first year of the program, I had a one-on-one meeting with the head of the program, but the meeting didn’t go at all as I had expected. Rather than talk about a strategy for my course load and make a plan for the next three years, the advisor spent the whole meeting telling me that majoring in film was a colossal waste of time. The exact words I remember him using sounded something like this: “Well, it’s nice that you’ll have this degree in film and everything, but you’re just going to be another housewife with a film degree…you’ll never actually work in the industry.”

Harsh, right? I wish I could say I was exaggerating, but to the best of my recollection, I’m not. And I wish I could say that I stuck it out and proved this advisor wrong, but I can’t.

I changed my major shortly after this meeting. Not because I thought he was right, but because I was so put off by how negatively I had been treated. I certainly didn’t feel like spending the rest of my college existence dealing with lame teachers like him.

Do I have any regrets? Yes and no. I do regret that I wasn’t stronger at the time…that I didn’t stand up to the advisor and tell him what I thought of his suggestion. I regret that I was so easily dissuaded from pursuing something that I was clearly passionate about. On the other hand, I may not be doing what I’m doing today had I stuck with majoring in film, and I’m very happy about the path my career has taken. It took me a while, but I eventually got to where I want to be by following my passion and trusting in the process. I knew that if I focused on doing things that felt in tune with my “purpose,” things would work out.

So, getting back to the girl’s question in the letter—should she give up her dream of being a dancer? My advice…absolutely not. Dreaming is what being a teen is all about. The world is completely open and the possibilities for what you can do are boundless. Sure…there are logistical things that can get in the way, like money, or people who don’t support you, or educational requirements, but the cliché is really true—where there’s a will, there’s a way. If you’re passionate about something, follow your heart, and believe in yourself, there’s really no limit to what you can do.

Has someone ever told you that your dream is out of your reach? How did it make you feel? Did you listen to them? Leave a comment and share your story…

I got a letter this week from a girl who hopes to be a dancer someday. The only problem is, her guidance counselor at school told her that dreaming of a career as a dancer was basically useless. She was writing to me because she wanted to know if she should give up on her dream.

Her letter struck a chord with me, as I have vivid memories of being told that I was aiming too high or wasn’t being realistic when I shared my career dreams with people. One incident in particular sticks out in my mind. I was a wide-eyed freshman in college, thankful to have finally flown the coop and be on my own at a big university where I could make my own decisions. I had enrolled as a film major, just like my older sister Michele, and was envisioning working behind the scenes in film or TV production.

At some point during my first year of the program, I had a one-on-one meeting with the head of the program, but the meeting didn’t go at all as I had expected. Rather than talk about a strategy for my course load and make a plan for the next three years, the advisor spent the whole meeting telling me that majoring in film was a colossal waste of time. The exact words I remember him using sounded something like this: “Well, it’s nice that you’ll have this degree in film and everything, but you’re just going to be another housewife with a film degree…you’ll never actually work in the industry.”

Harsh, right? I wish I could say I was exaggerating, but to the best of my recollection, I’m not. And I wish I could say that I stuck it out and proved this advisor wrong, but I can’t.

I changed my major shortly after this meeting. Not because I thought he was right, but because I was so put off by how negatively I had been treated. I certainly didn’t feel like spending the rest of my college existence dealing with lame teachers like him.

Do I have any regrets? Yes and no. I do regret that I wasn’t stronger at the time…that I didn’t stand up to the advisor and tell him what I thought of his suggestion. I regret that I was so easily dissuaded from pursuing something that I was clearly passionate about. On the other hand, I may not be doing what I’m doing today had I stuck with majoring in film, and I’m very happy about the path my career has taken. It took me a while, but I eventually got to where I want to be by following my passion and trusting in the process. I knew that if I focused on doing things that felt in tune with my “purpose,” things would work out.

So, getting back to the girl’s question in the letter—should she give up her dream of being a dancer? My advice…absolutely not. Dreaming is what being a teen is all about. The world is completely open and the possibilities for what you can do are boundless. Sure…there are logistical things that can get in the way, like money, or people who don’t support you, or educational requirements, but the cliché is really true—where there’s a will, there’s a way. If you’re passionate about something, follow your heart, and believe in yourself, there’s really no limit to what you can do.

Has someone ever told you that your dream is out of your reach? How did it make you feel? Did you listen to them? Leave a comment and share your story…

Some people would rather eat raw squid than spend a few hours alone. Some people think that being alone is, well, boring. But smart girls know what some people don’t. Smart girls know that being alone can be a wonderful thing. Here are just a few of the great things about spending time with the person you know best (that would be you)…

• gives you a chance to figure out who you are and what you like
• restores your energy and makes you feel more recharged
• gives you a break from the stress of daily life
• makes you more confident in being yourself

So the next time you find yourself with nowhere to go, nothing to do, and no one to talk to, don’t despair! Why not try out some of these ideas? You just might make a few discoveries of your own.

10 Ideas for Making the Most of Alone Time
1. Go through your pictures and make new photo albums
2. Write in your journal about your dreams
3. Go back and reread a favorite book, or discover a new one
4. Go for a walk and see how many new things you notice along the way
5. Organize your clothes and make a pile to donate
6. Bake your favorite cookies
7. Practice yoga poses in your room
8. Make something artistic
9. Listen to your favorite album
10. Meditate and clear your mind