Don’t You Hate It When Someone Tries To Stomp On Your Dream?

I got a letter this week from a girl who hopes to be a dancer someday. The only problem is, her guidance counselor at school told her that dreaming of a career as a dancer was basically useless. She was writing to me because she wanted to know if she should give up on her dream.

Her letter struck a chord with me, as I have vivid memories of being told that I was aiming too high or wasn’t being realistic when I shared my career dreams with people. One incident in particular sticks out in my mind. I was a wide-eyed freshman in college, thankful to have finally flown the coop and be on my own at a big university where I could make my own decisions. I had enrolled as a film major, just like my older sister Michele, and was envisioning working behind the scenes in film or TV production.

At some point during my first year of the program, I had a one-on-one meeting with the head of the program, but the meeting didn’t go at all as I had expected. Rather than talk about a strategy for my course load and make a plan for the next three years, the advisor spent the whole meeting telling me that majoring in film was a colossal waste of time. The exact words I remember him using sounded something like this: “Well, it’s nice that you’ll have this degree in film and everything, but you’re just going to be another housewife with a film degree…you’ll never actually work in the industry.”

Harsh, right? I wish I could say I was exaggerating, but to the best of my recollection, I’m not. And I wish I could say that I stuck it out and proved this advisor wrong, but I can’t.

I changed my major shortly after this meeting. Not because I thought he was right, but because I was so put off by how negatively I had been treated. I certainly didn’t feel like spending the rest of my college existence dealing with lame teachers like him.

Do I have any regrets? Yes and no. I do regret that I wasn’t stronger at the time…that I didn’t stand up to the advisor and tell him what I thought of his suggestion. I regret that I was so easily dissuaded from pursuing something that I was clearly passionate about. On the other hand, I may not be doing what I’m doing today had I stuck with majoring in film, and I’m very happy about the path my career has taken. It took me a while, but I eventually got to where I want to be by following my passion and trusting in the process. I knew that if I focused on doing things that felt in tune with my “purpose,” things would work out.

So, getting back to the girl’s question in the letter—should she give up her dream of being a dancer? My advice…absolutely not. Dreaming is what being a teen is all about. The world is completely open and the possibilities for what you can do are boundless. Sure…there are logistical things that can get in the way, like money, or people who don’t support you, or educational requirements, but the cliché is really true—where there’s a will, there’s a way. If you’re passionate about something, follow your heart, and believe in yourself, there’s really no limit to what you can do.

Has someone ever told you that your dream is out of your reach? How did it make you feel? Did you listen to them? Leave a comment and share your story…