4 Seconds Away, But Still in the Moment

In my books and on Smart Girls Know, I talk a lot about striving to “be in the moment.” It’s just one of my things – the way I try to live my life, focusing on the here and now instead of dwelling on the past or worrying too much about the future. As I’ve written before on Smart Girls Know, I know that by living in the present moment, you will:

• get the most out of every experience
• be more content and happier overall
• be much less stressed out
• see the possibilities in everything

This weekend, I had the opportunity put my money where my mouth is by truly being the moment, second by second, step by step, as I attempted to beat my personal best time in a 5K race.

Saturday morning, I ran the Iron Girl 5K in Seattle, joining more than 2,000 other girls and women for a fantastic event featuring a fast course around Greenlake and lots of powerful all-girl energy. For the past few years, I’ve thought about trying to beat my fastest 5K time, which I set in Central Park in 1997. I came close a few years ago, but haven’t been able to break my personal barrier of 23 minutes, 51 seconds.

I wasn’t sure if I was going to go for it on Saturday or not, since I’m still nursing a foot injury and hadn’t done any speed training this summer. But it was such perfect running weather and there was so much positive energy in the air, that sometime between lining up for the start and the beginning of the race, I decided I would go for it.

I knew exactly what average pace I had to run each mile in order to beat my time – a 7:40 mile. So I pushed it out of the gate and hit my target, running the first mile in 7:35. Ok, Debbie. Just keep it up for two more miles, and you’ll do it, I thought to myself. The problem was, I didn’t know if I actually could keep it up. My breathing was all over the place, I hadn’t found my stride yet, and the finish line at the other end of the lake seemed seriously far away. But I wasn’t ready to give up, so I focused on my pace, my rhythm, and not slowing down.

When I came upon the 2-mile marker, I looked down at my watch. 7:59. Yikes. I had expected mile 2 to be a little slower, but not that slow. I quickly did the math in my head. My next 1.1 mile had to kick some serious booty or I could kiss my new personal record goodbye.

So I sped up. And I stayed focused. The problem was, by this time, I was feeling extremely fatigued, I had a shoulder cramp, and this little voice in my head started messing with me, telling me there was no way I would beat the time, so why bother trying? Why not slow down the pace a bit and just enjoy the run. It’s not going to happen this year, no biggie.

But rather than listen to those thoughts, I replaced them with these: You can still do it. It’s still within your power to beat your time. It’s all about this moment, this step, this mile. Believe in every step that you can do it…the future hasn’t been determined yet!

I repeated these thoughts as I labored through the last mile, rounded the last turn, and spotted the finish line. I saw my husband and son (who curiously enough was holding up a sign he had made for me that said Go Under Sea Mom!) and that gave me an extra bolt of energy. I pushed my legs as fast as they would go, kicking in the last point one of a mile and crossing the finish line in… 23:55.

4 seconds shy of my record.

I caught my breath, and looked down at my watch where I’d clocked my splits. My last 1.1 mile, the one where I’d stayed present and repeated the mantra that I could do it, had almost been as fast as my first mile. It hadn’t been enough, but for some reason I didn’t feel defeated. Slightly bummed, yes. But more than that, I was happy that for the duration of the race, I had truly been in the moment – shoulder cramp, funky breathing, doubtful thoughts and all. No, I hadn’t beaten my personal record, but I came damn close, and I know that with speed training and more time to recover from my injury, I can do it. After all, the power is completely within me.

And when I do it, I promise to let you know!

XOXO Debbie