There are three things you need to know about  Emily-Anne Rigal, a.k.a. The Schmiddlebopper. 1) She is one of the kindest, motivated, inspirational, forward-thinking young gals I know, 2) she wears bows in her hair every day, and 3) she is the founder of the nonprofit WeStopHate which is reaching thousands of teens with its message of “teen esteem.”

About the bow-in-the-hair thing, it’s true! And that’s me modeling a bow Emily-Anne sent me. (I’m rocking the look, right?)

And about WeStopHate, this is something you should definitely know about. Here’s how the movement is described on the :

WeStopHate is a charitable nonprofit program created to raise teen-esteem through the power of online videos and social media. We define “teen-esteem” as giving teenagers the confidence to stand up for themselves while also accepting who they are and not being afraid to show it! Our videos feature teens and WeStopHate experts sharing their personal experiences about overcoming insecurities and providing their confidence tips with the WeStopHate community.

To support the work of WeStopHate, visit their website ,view the videos and spread the word among your friends, or buy one of the cool wristbands I’m wearing in the picture, which says Be You (tiful) – WeStopHate.org or a T-shirt with the same message. To stay in the loop on what’s going on with WeStopHate, “like” their here!

Here’s a sampling of a video from WeStopHate!

Today is Rally for Girls Sports Day, an annual event hosted by the National Women’s Law Center (NWLC) to raise address the fact that girls are still not receiving equal opportunities in high school sports programs. According to the NWLC, schools across the country don’t provide equal opportunities for girls to participate in sports, and some are even cutting athletic opportunities in ways that exacerbate existing gender inequities or create new ones.

And there is a ton of research documenting the many benefits of sports in the lives of girls. As outlined by the Women’s Sports Foundation, girls who participate in sports are more likely to get better grades and graduate than girls who don’t play sports, are less likely to have an unwanted pregnancy in school than girls who don’t play sports, have higher levels of confidence and self-esteem and lower levels of depression than girls who don’t play sports, have a more positive body image than girls who don’t play sports, may reduce their risk of breast cancer by up to 50%, may reduce the risk of osteoporosis (brittle bones) in older age, and will learn valuable lessons about team-building, goal-setting and the pursuit of excellence, which crosses over into other areas of life.

When schools don’t offer the same opportunities for girls to participate in sports as they do for boys, they’re creating an unequal playing field for the future (pun intended). As the NWLC’s brief reports:

Playing sports keeps students engaged in school and thus can help to improve graduation rates around the country. Young women who play sports are more likely to graduate from high school, have higher grades, and score higher on standardized tests than non-athletes. Female athletes are also more likely to do well in science classes than their classmates who do not play sports.20 In addition, the availability of athletic scholarships dramatically increases a young woman’s ability to pursue a college education and to choose from a wider range of colleges and universities.

To do my part for today’s Rally for Girls Sports Day, I wanted to highlight an organization that is working hard to ensure girls can reap the benefits of sports.This past weekend I had the pleasure of being a running buddy with Girls on the Run, a learning program for girls ages 8 to 13 years old which combines training for a 3.1 mile running event with self-esteem enhancing, uplifting workouts. The goals of the programs are to encourage positive emotional, social, mental, spiritual and physical development. This fall, more than 350 girls in my hometown of Seattle had a chance to participate.

I’ve been involved with Girls On The Run for the past 5 or so years, coaching girls for a few seasons and being a running buddy for the past three. As a running buddy, I get paired with one girl for both the practice and actual 5K, so she feels supported throughout the whole thing. And me, well, I just get to enjoy the warm and fuzzies from sharing in this experience with a young girl who is pushing herself outside her comfort zone.

And this past Sunday was no exception, especially about the comfort zone part, as it was in the low thirties with the added bonus of what felt like an Arctic “breeze” coming off Lake Washington to make sure we were near frozen before the race even started. Despite the less-than-ideal conditions, my runner, Sophie, kept a positive attitude the whole time. She and her friend decided they wanted to try and be the first Girls on the Run girls to cross the finish line, so we all weaseled our way up to the start line and took off like mad when the starting horn finally went off.

After I caught up with her starting-line sprint, we tackled a killer hill in the first mile, and enjoyed long easy strides as we coasted down it. With the hill out of the way, the rest of the course was pretty flat, so we focused on recovering from the hill, managing our breathing, and finding a pace that we could keep steady. Sophie stayed strong, and with about a half-mile to go, we decided to kick it in, sprinting for the finish line. Sophie came in 4th out of all the girls, and her friend from the start of the race came in 1st! I was so proud of my runner, and so honored to have gotten to share this experience with her!

As a runner and a girl advocate, it’s no surprise that I love what Girls on the Run stands for. I’ve said it many times before on this blog, and I’ll say it again. Running is a HUGE part of my emotional well-being. It has given back to me in more ways than I can possibly list here, and I think it is an incredibly empowering activity for women and girls. So how awesome is it that GOTR introduces girls to running, all the while offering empowering information on everything from media literacy to self-respect and providing girls with true role models to show the benefits of running? Pretty awesome.

Girls on the Run is offered in the fall and spring all across the U.S. If you’re interested in learning more about the program or how to get involved, visit the main website here and look for a chapter near you! And if you’re interested in trying out running for yourself but don’t know where to start, check out my book Run for Your Life: A Book for Beginning Runners!

This past weekend, seven girlfriends and I rented a house on Whidbey Island for a girls getaway weekend. There was lots of chill time – reading, playing pool, lounging by the fire, wearing pajamas until well past noon.

I think it was late Saturday afternoon while sitting in the hot tub when I turned to my friends and announced with a mixture of surprise and glee, “I don’t think I’ve even looked in the mirror today!” In that moment, it suddenly occurred to me that no comb had gone through my hair, no concealer used to dilute the circles under my eyes (which I could only assume were there), no mascara brushed across my eyelashes. There was something so liberating about just being with this group of confident, amazing women as we shared painful memories, laughed until our ribs ached, and spazzed out to 80s music (well, I think that was mostly just Sara and me), all without considering once what I looked like on the outside.

So I loved hearing about this inspirational group of Texas high school students who started a movement at their school called Redefining Beauty. One day a week, girls participating in the growing movement come to school makeup-free, with the goal of promoting self-confidence and female empowerment.

The founders of the movement, which has grown popular within their Texas high school and has started to spread to other schools in the area, are Samantha Gibbs, Lauren Gilby, Laura Kelly, Nina Smith, Emily Gates and Caroline Tessler. The girls say the inspiration for the campaign was Operation Beautiful, a campaign founded by friend and honorary Smart Girl Caitlyn Boyle, which encourages women and girls to post anonymous notes in public places for other women to find with a goal of reminding women that we are all beautiful, that we are all enough, just the way we are.

Says Redefining Beauty co-founder Samantha Gibbs, “We wanted to do something like that at our school and makeup is just one way for us to make girls feel like they are beautiful, and to shake that image that everyone sees, and know that you, yourself, are really beautiful.”

What I love most about this movement is that these girls aren’t just talking about the old adage, beauty is only skin deep – they’re owning it in a powerful way. By making the choice to not wear makeup, even this one day a week, these girls are getting to experience the same thing I experienced this past weekend – the joy of looking beyond appearance within a supportive community. And hopefully this is a community that will continue to keep growing and growing and growing…

Yesterday, I had the honor of being a part of Dove’s Self-Esteem Weekend, a 3-day event where Dove inspired thousands of organizations and individuals to gather together and realize the power women can make in the lives of building the self-esteem of girls. The Movement is about imagining a world where every girl grows up with the self-esteem she needs to reach her full potential, and where every woman enjoys feeling confident in her own beauty.

“Imagine the world of possibilities we can open up by helping to build self-esteem in the people we love most. Our movement is building a world where women everywhere have the tools to inspire each other and the girls in their lives.”

While my work most often involves talking with groups of girls about anything from media literacy to how to de-stress, for this weekend, I decided to pull together some of my favorite women here in Seattle to connect, build community, and enjoy some delicious cupcakes! I also asked each woman to answer the question Dove has posed to women everywhere: What do you wish you’d known at 13?

I loved seeing how every woman answered this question so differently, sharing their unique perspective and life-experience with the group. The end-result was a collection of powerful quotes which I pulled together to create this video. I hope you find these women and their message as inspiring as I do!

Also – check out this fabulous article on Huffington Post about the impact women can have on the self-esteem of girls by my friend, mentor, and Global Ambassador for the Dove Self-Esteem Fun, Jess Weiner!

Most of us do…care what others think about us, that is. When it comes to things like the people you hang out with, the activities you do, the way you talk, and your personal style, chances are you’re at the very least considering how others will perceive you as you make your choices.

Some might say it’s human nature. Well, a new study by Dr. Amanda E. Guyer of the National Institute of Mental Health suggests that for teen girls, this reality of worrying about what others think about them – and therefore their potential depression and anxiety based on this – gets more intense as they progress through teenhood. The study was based on brain science, and looked at how certain regions of the brain were activated more strongly when they thought they were being evaluated by another teen. The more “high-interest” the peer was (prettier, popular, more interesting), the more strongly the brain reacted.

I’ll be honest…worrying about what others think of me is something I’ve struggled with from a very young age. When I was younger, I felt I was too short, too goofy, too plain Jane, and I was sure others saw me this way, too. And while I can’t say that I 100 percent don’t care what others think of me today, it’s definitely not such a big deal anymore. Now, I try to remember that most people are thinking about themselves and their own stuff, not sitting around considering the way I dress or parent or what kind of car I drive. And that’s incredibly freeing thing. I just wish it hadn’t taken me so long to figure it out.

And just to show you that I am OK with whatever you want to think about me, I’m including one of the most embarrassing photos of me I could find…a nice shot from college, complete with dorky glasses, goofy grin, and stuffed animal. Think what you want…go on, I can take it!

How about you? Do you care what others think of you? How does worrying about others’ perceptions impact your life?

Do you have questions about your body that you’re too uncomfortable to talk to your friends or parents about? Have you ever wondered at what age you should go see a gynecologist and what exactly would happen during your visit? Are you aware of the various sexually transmitted diseases out there and understand how to best protect yourself from contracting one?

If so, your search for answers is over. Dr. Jennifer Ashton, an obstetrician and gynecologist, has just written , and inside you’ll find information on everything from breast development and periods to birth control and personal hygiene.

“I found that teens and tweens just didn’t have a clue about their bodies, and no one (parents, teachers, friends) was giving them the right information. I wanted to give them the inside scoop on their bodies so that they would be empowered!” says Dr. Ashton.

I’m all for that. Especially when I think about all the questions I had as a teen (and continued to have until not so long ago) that went unanswered, mostly because of my own embarassment or insecurity with my own body.

What I especially like about this book is that the info is presented in a super accessible way – as you read the book it really feels as if you’re sitting down in a comfy couch in the office of a seriously cool doctor, and she’s there just to make you realize that every concern, fear, or embarrassment you harbor about your nether regions is totally normal and okay.

To enter the book giveaway contest for a chance to win The Body Scoop for Girls, leave a comment below about whether or not you’ve ever had “the talk” with your mom or dad, why or why not, and if so, how it went. One winner will be chosen next Wednesday, February 3rd, and be notified by email.

* UPDATE* My friends over at Scarleteen, the awesome sex ed website for teens, pointed out to me that there is some info in The Body Scoop for Girls that doesn’t necessarily jive with many sex educators working with teens. Perhaps most controversial is Dr. Ashton’s suggestion that sexually active teen girls shouldn’t tell their partners they are on the pill, her reasoning being that if guys know a girl is on the pill, they will be less likely to use a condom. And since condoms are the only thing that protect someone from an STD, she feels this “white lie” is worth it. I can see her point, but I agree that advocating dishonesty in a relationship doesn’t feel right. I appreciated the perspective Dr. Karen Rayne shared on her blog:

Dr. Ashton is saying it’s okay (1) for girls to lie to their sex partners about their sexual and reproductive health, (2) that it’s okay for girls to have sex with someone that they don’t trust with their sexual and reproductive health, and (3) that the decision about whether to use a condom or not is the boy’s decision, not the girl’s.  I deeply reject all three of these points and am rather affronted that anyone would agree with her initial statement.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this issue, too!

I’m so excited to share the news that self-esteem guru, honorary Smart Girl, and friend, Jess Weiner, has just premiered a new self-esteem and advice website for girls and women!

You might already know Jess from her monthly body image column in Seventeen Magazine, or maybe you’ve seen her talking about celebrities and body image on TV. Maybe you’ve been lucky enough to see Jess in person at one of her inspirational speaking events centered around self-confidence and self-acceptance, or are familiar with her work as the Global Ambassador for the . You’re probably starting to see a pattern here – Jess totally rocks it when it comes to speaking out on behalf of girls and self-esteem!

So, check out Jess’s new website for a ton of great info, from friendship and relationship tips and advice to all kinds of resources, blogs, videos, and access to Jess’s Actionist Newsletter! And to find out more about Jess and how she created a career for herself as an “Actionist” and forged her own bold path in self-esteem advocacy, check out my interview with Jess in my book !

It’s bad enough that already super skinny cover models and celebrities appearing in magazines are photoshopped to death to eliminate traces of any blemish or imperfection that might make them look, well, real.

But the September cover of SELF Magazine, whose tagline is “You at your best,” is stirring up a ton of controversy, specifically regarding the extent to which featured celeb Kelly Clarkson has been digitally “enhanced.” And rightly so.

What exactly is the message SELF magazine is sending to women when headlines on the cover say things like “Slim Down Your Way” and “Total Body Confidence,” yet Kelly Clarkson herself has been digitally altered to make her look much thinner? Watch the video from the actual photo shoot and you’ll see just how far away the cover is from reality.

SELF Editor-in-chief Lucy Danzinger has vigorously defended the way they altered Kelly’s image for the cover, saying:

This is art, creativity and collaboration. It’s not, as in a news photograph, journalism. It is, however, meant to inspire women to want to be their best. That is the point.

Kelly has this amazing spirit, the kind of joie de vivre that certain people possess that makes you want to stand closer to them, hoping that you can learn what they know. In this case, you get the feeling Kelly has not let fame spoil her, but also that she was just born confident, with a generosity of spirit that is all about others and rarely about herself. She is, like her music, giving and strong and confident and full of gusto. Did we alter her appearance? Only to make her look her personal best.

But in the sense that Kelly is the picture of confidence, and she truly is, then I think this photo is the truest we have ever put out there on the newsstand.

Kelly says she doesn’t care what people think of her weight. So we say: That is the role model for the rest of us.

Hmmm. How thoughtful of SELF to make Kelly, who is the first to say she doesn’t have a problem with her weight, look her “personal best” on the cover. I mean, could a magazine which is supposed to be all about being your best possibly be more hypocritical?

Look, I have no problem with covering up a pimple or something in a photograph, but to change the bone structure and clothing size of real people to make them be their “personal best” and call it “inspirational” is just not okay. All it does is perpetuate the messages that girls and woman are bombarded with every day that they’re not good enough the way they are.

Do you want to tell SELF magazine how you feel about the unhealthy messages they’re sending to girls and women everywhere with their cover? Email Lucy Danzinger here.

A recent article in the Florida Times-Union says that though many girls use words like “bitch” and “whore” in a friendly, fun way when addressing their other friends who are girls, there may actually be a real negative side-effect.

Girls who call each other these names in an endearing way – kind of like saying, “Hey girl, how are you?” but going with, “Hey bitch, how are you?” – admit they would be offended if they were called these names by boys or other people. However, among their friends, it’s considered okay and not offensive.

The thing is, researchers say that even being called derogatory names like this by friends as a joke can have a true downside. The article quotes Judy Schoenberg, the Director of Research and Outreach at the Girl Scout Research Institute, who said, “If you grow up and someone keeps calling you a ‘bitch’ and a ‘slut,’ you start growing up thinking that’s what you are. You internalize it, and that’s very dangerous,” Schoenberg said, adding that for girls, self-image and identity depend more on what others think of them than they do for boys.

I am a big believer in the power of words and that what we say has a real effect on how we feel. So it makes sense to me that using these derogatory terms in any way, shape, or form would result in some sort of negative self-image.

What are your thoughts? Do you and your friends call each other names in a “friendly” way? Do you see any downside to doing this?

I just read an article online about a new camp in Montreal for 10-14 year old girls. This camp isn’t teaching girls how to be better soccer players or musicians, or even give girls a chance to take important and safe risks so they can gain confidence and create a strong self-esteem foundation.

Rather, Makeover Camp at the Lambda School of Music and Fine Arts is all about teaching young girls social refinement and how to be “ladies.” As in, “improve their posture, voice, table manners, conversation skills, wardrobe choices, makeup application, hostessing skills and music appreciation.” According to the camp’s website, their mission is “instilling confidence, social etiquette and grace in an atmosphere of fun and friendship.”

From the article:

“We see a lot of young ladies who can benefit from a makeover program,” said Angela Chan, director of Lambda and co-creator of the camp. “They need to develop their presence.” Marc McCreavy, an industrial designer and interior decorator, will teach the girls how to host events and decorate a table. “It’s important to learn about appropriate topics of conversation and appropriate attire,” he said.

Seriously? No wonder critics are dubbing Makeover Camp “Wife Camp.” I mean, did we just flash back to 1950?

While the creators of the camp insist their purpose is to instill confidence in young girls by teaching them how to be “appropriate,” this is a serious disconnect for me. To even teach young girls that there are certain ways to “be” and “act” seems like it would make girls feel less confident in simply being their imperfect, creative, wonderful selves.

If we really want to set girls up for success, why not focus on teaching them how to follow their passions, speak their minds, and know they are perfect just as they are? Now that’s one camp I would have liked to attend when I was younger…