Do you talk with your parents about what’s going on in your life? And if you don’t, do you wish you could?

According to a new national report by the Dove Self-Esteem Fund called “Real Girls, Real Pressure,” girls everywhere want better communication with the adults in their lives to help them deal with the many challenges they’re going through.

“The top wish among girls is for their parents to communicate better with them, including more frequent and more open conversations, as well as discussions about what is happening in her life. However, as girls enter their teenage years, there is a significant loss of trust and communication with adults, particularly when they are feeling bad about themselves.”

And here are some stats:

• 67% of girls ages 13-17 turn to their mother as a resource when feeling badly about themselves compared to 91% of girls ages 8-12
• Only 27% of girls ages 13-17 will turn to their father for help when feeling badly about themselves compared to 54% of girls ages 8-12

When I was a teen, I had a decent relationship with my parents, but I didn’t share a lot of the deep, dark stuff I was thinking and feeling about myself and the universe because I was afraid of getting in trouble or I knew they wouldn’t understand. I remember envying those perfect families on TV (Family Ties and Growing Pains) and wished I had that same kind of openness and understanding in my home. Of course, I knew that the families on TV weren’t actually real, but still, a girl could dream…).

Now that I’m a parent and I have relationships with many moms and dads, I see it from the flip side. I know that most parents actually do want to know what’s going on in the lives of their teens. They want those lines of communication open, and they want to be the ones that their children turn to when they are feeling down.

So if teens want to more communication with their parents and parents want more communication with their teens, what’s going on?

Someone’s got to break the ice. And I propose that it’s you.

Why not approach your mom or dad (or both) and tell them you’d like more open communication, but you’re not sure where to start? Or tell them honestly what your fears are (they’ll get mad at you, they’ll judge you, they’ll stop loving you, they’ll ground you…whatever) in talking with them, but at the same time, remind them that you’re going through a lot of changes and you need all the help you can get.

It may not be easy, but I guarantee you if you take this first step, it will go a long way in building trust between the two of you. Not only will your parents be relieved (and maybe even shocked) about your openness, they’ll start to see you as a growing, maturing, and thoughtful person. And that will only help your relationship in the long run.

Did you know that the U.S. currently ranks 71st in the world in women’s political representation? That’s right…women leaders make up just 16% of the Senate, 23% of state legislatures, and 10% of big city mayors.

With so few women in politics, how are young girls supposed to believe they can make a difference in politics when they grow up?

The White House Project believes one way is to get girls involved in politics from an early age, so they’ve teamed up with the Take Our Daughters & Sons to Work Day Foundation to create Take Our Daughters to the Polls!

Watch the video:

As Marie Wilson says, “By taking girls to the polls on Election Day, we teach them that they are a valuable part of the political process, and that their voice and their vote can make a difference.”

I went to the polls every year on election day with my mom and dad when I was younger, and I know that had a lot to do with me being so politically active today. And even though I live in a state where most people vote through the mail, I wouldn’t give up the chance to show up on election day to my polling site and see the election process up-close and personal. It makes me feel excited, full of hope, and most of all, heard!

So, what are your plans on election day? I hope you join your parents in going to the polls!

Did you know that the U.S. currently ranks 71st in the world in women’s political representation? That’s right…women leaders make up just 16% of the Senate, 23% of state legislatures, and 10% of big city mayors.

With so few women in politics, how are young girls supposed to believe they can make a difference in politics when they grow up?

The White House Project believes one way is to get girls involved in politics from an early age, so they’ve teamed up with the Take Our Daughters & Sons to Work Day Foundation to create Take Our Daughters to the Polls!

Watch the video:

As Marie Wilson says, “By taking girls to the polls on Election Day, we teach them that they are a valuable part of the political process, and that their voice and their vote can make a difference.”

I went to the polls every year on election day with my mom and dad when I was younger, and I know that had a lot to do with me being so politically active today. And even though I live in a state where most people vote through the mail, I wouldn’t give up the chance to show up on election day to my polling site and see the election process up-close and personal. It makes me feel excited, full of hope, and most of all, heard!

So, what are your plans on election day? I hope you join your parents in going to the polls!

As a teen you might feel like you don’t play a role in all the political stuff happening right now. But even though you may not be old enough to vote, you have a voice and Smart Girls Know thinks your voice is one that should be heard.

So please take a minute (or two) to answer a question (or two) below about what’s most important to you in this election and the future of our country. Then I’ll do my best to share your hopes, dreams, fears, and concerns with the rest of the world.

• What are you most concerned about when it comes to the future of our country and why?
  
• What are your greatest hopes for the country after this election and why?
• What big things do you want the next president to accomplish?
• What should politicians be doing differently?

You can with your answers, or just leave a comment on my blog.

Peace & Love,

Debbie

As a teen you might feel like you don’t play a role in all the political stuff happening right now. But even though you may not be old enough to vote, you have a voice and Smart Girls Know thinks your voice is one that should be heard.

So please take a minute (or two) to answer a question (or two) below about what’s most important to you in this election and the future of our country. Then I’ll do my best to share your hopes, dreams, fears, and concerns with the rest of the world.

• What are you most concerned about when it comes to the future of our country and why?
  
• What are your greatest hopes for the country after this election and why?
• What big things do you want the next president to accomplish?
• What should politicians be doing differently?

You can with your answers, or just leave a comment on my blog.

Peace & Love,

Debbie

Affirmation: Smart Girls Know How to Deal With Anger

How many different emotions do you experience on any given day? If you’re like most people, you cycle through a bunch of different states of mind as you go through your daily routine – happiness, worry, frustration, excitement. It’s all part of being a thinking, feeling human being. Most of us recover quickly and move from one emotion to another without giving it a second thought.

But there’s one emotion that can stop us in our tracks and do serious damage in no time – anger.

Anger can come out of nowhere, and when it strikes, can turn even the coolest cat into a raging monster (I’m speaking from personal experience here). And even though we all know there’s no such thing as a “bad” emotion, sometimes it can be hard to see the upside to losing our cool.

So here’s a positive way to think about being mad, angry, irate, incensed…you get the gist. Anger can:

• be a powerful motivator to take action
• give you clear messages that something isn’t right
• shed some personal insight into who you are
• help you release pent up emotions

I think the toughest thing about this unwieldy emotion is that it can appear so unexpectedly and has the potential to get us into pretty sticky situations. So how can you turn your anger into a positive thing (or at least not let it land you in detention or worse…)? Try this:

• be okay with how you’re feeling – don’t try to squash the emotion…instead, recognize that your anger is your body’s way of telling you something isn’t right
• figure out what calms you down – whether it’s reading, listening to music, or going for a brisk walk, identify those things that help you go from rage to zen
• find safe ways to express your anger – I’m a big fan of screaming into or punching a pillow
• reflect when the anger has past – think about the process you went through and notice what ultimately helped the feelings of rage disappear

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Teen Publishing Project

I’m still accepting submissions for the exciting new teen book series I’m developing in conjunction with a major publisher. if you’re an avid writer/aspiring teen author and have a real-life story to tell, send me an email and I’ll fill you in on the details and tell you everything you need to know about applying.

If you’ve already sent me a writing submission and haven’t heard back from me, hang in there…I’ll be updating the first round of applicants on their submissions’ status in the coming weeks!

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This Month’s MUST READ! You’re Amazing

I’m so excited to share this month’s must read book with you because it is so true to my heart and is full of the kinds of insight and info that is exactly what Smart Girls Know stands for.

by Claire Mysko is published with the support of the fabulous organization Girls’ Inc., and explores the “Supergirl Dilemma,” which is the idea that today’s girls feel incredible pressure to try to do and be everything and anything perfectly all the time. Possible? NOT. And that’s exactly what this book is all about. By encouraging girls to stop trying to be supergirls and instead just be the amazing girl that they already are, Claire hopes to help a generation of girls find more happiness, fulfillment, and hope in their lives.

You’re Amazing has chapters on stereotypes, looks, friends, relationships, stress, and the future, and is full of sage advice, voices of today’s teen girls, and a ton of thoughtful journal exercises that will give you the tools you need to take control of your life and, like the subtitle says, be your best self. I can’t recommend it highly enough!

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Meet Claire Mysko

Claire is the smart girl behind , and recently she answered a few questions for Smart Girls Know about her life and work:

SGK: Why did you want to write this book?

Claire: I wrote this book in response to the Girls Inc. “Supergirl Dilemma” study, which shows that girls today are feeling increasing pressures to be perfect and please everyone. I wanted to help girls stop trying so hard to be “supergirls” and start celebrating what makes them amazing.

SGK: How is the content of personally related to your experiences as a teen girl?

Claire: I grew up putting a lot of pressure on myself, so I was very personally connected to the themes of this book. I struggled with my body image in my teens and I got caught up in the idea that losing weight would be a magic solution that would make me happier and more confident. As girls and women, that message is reinforced constantly on TV and in movies and magazines. It just doesn’t work that way in reality, though. Happiness and confidence have to come from the inside.

SGK: If you were to name one thing that you see as the biggest pressure faced by today’s young women, what would it be and why?

Claire: In my work and in the “The Supergirl Dilemma” study, one of the biggest pressures on girls is to have the “right” look. That’s not just about weight and body image, but also about feeling the need to have certain brands and styles. Girls want to fit in with their peers. They also get appearance pressure from the media and sometimes family members, too.

SGK: What is your greatest hope for the girls who read ?”

Claire: My greatest hope is that girls will feel less alone in the pressures they face. I interviewed many girls and women for this book. While their individual experiences were unique, there were common themes that came up again and again. The quest for perfection is a lonely road, and the big news flash is that we’re never going to reach the destination because that kind of perfection just doesn’t exist! I want girls who read the book to know how important it is to take healthy risks, to make mistakes, and to reach out and support each other.

SGK: Many of the young women who subscribe to Smart Girls Know are aspiring authors. Can you share with us what you love about the book writing process?

Claire: I write mostly non-fiction, so one of my favorite things about the writing process is interviewing people and having the opportunity to tell their stories. It’s also pretty great when I start to get in that zone where things are just coming together–sometimes in ways I never expected.

SGK: In your own words, what does it mean to be “strong, smart, and bold?”

Claire: There are so many outside voices telling us what we should look like, act like, and what we should achieve in life. I think being strong, smart, and bold is about finding the courage to turn down all the static and follow your own inner voice.

To find out more about Claire, visit her site and blog: www.clairemysko.com!

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YA for Obama

Unless you live under a rock, you know that the political season is in high gear. For the sake of keeping it real, I’m a fervent supporter of Barack Obama, and am part of an online community started by author Maureen Johnson (13 Little Blue Envelopes, Devilish, Girl at Sea, Suite Scarlett) called YA for Obama. And I want you to join me!

Here’s a quick description of the site from Maureen:

YA for Obama is a community of YA writers and readers and friends who have joined together because of our commitment to Future United States President Barack Obama. We think he’s the right person for the job.

This is a social networking site, which means that when you join (it’s free! easy! takes about a minute!) you can do LOADS of stuff around here. You can make your own page, contribute to the forum, upload your own photos and videos, and make friends who love Obama as much as you do.

YA for Obama members and bloggers include incredible authors like Judy Blume, Megan McCafferty, Scott Westerfield, Ellen Hopkins, and on and on.

If you’re an Obama fan and want to have a cool, new way to connect with and hear from your favorite YA authors, join the site. And when you do, be sure to invite me to be your friend and send Maureen a message telling her you heard about the site from me!

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One last thing… I’m trying to spread the word about my blog Smart Girls Know and I need your help! Please forward this newsletter to friends you think might be interested and encourage them to sign up!