Teens Tune in to Their Parents’ Stress

Most parents know their teens are stressed out to a degree, but what many moms and dads may not realize is that their teens are picking up on the stress parents are under. According to a Harris Interactive report released yesterday by the American Psychological Association (APA), despite the fact that many parents believe they are shielding their kids from the stress they’re experiencing, most aren’t doing a good job. In fact, 91% of kids 8-17 say their parents are stressed out.

USA Today interviewed Norman Anderson from the APA about the results of the study:

They’re trying to protect their children from stress. The message from the survey, unfortunately, is that children are able to see through that. It’s actually better to talk with your kids about the fact that the parent is having challenges. The key message is ‘We’re going to address these difficulties and we’ll be OK. We’ll get through this.’

Here are some more interesting findings from the study:

• 32% of parents report that their stress levels are extreme, and children say these high levels of stress are having an impact on the family
• Children who say their parent is always stressed are more likely to report having a great deal of stress themselves than those who say their parents are never stressed (17%  vs. 2%)
• 47% of tweens and 33% of teens say they feel sad; 36% of tweens and 43% of teens say they feel worried; and 25% of tweens and 38% of teens say they feel frustrated when their parents are stressed
• overweight or obese children report that their parents were often or always stressed over the past month
• children who are overweight are more likely to experience the physical health effects associated with stress and manage their stress in unhealthy ways

How about you? Are you experiencing stress that is compounded by the stress your parents are feeling? As I write about in my book Chill, stress results in lots of different negative emotional, mental, and physical side-effects. That includes things like overeating (or undereating for that matter), depression, distraction, lack of motivation, insomnia, stomachaches, headaches, experiencing overwhelming sadness, and engaging in risky behavior, just to name a few.

One of the keys to dealing with stress is knowing how it impacts us, since we all respond differently to stress. So, I’d like to challenge you to take a minute to think and write about your personal experience with stress by answering the following questions:

1. What is a stressful situation you have recently experienced?
2. How did your body respond to the stress? (ie: insomnia, depression, over-eating, etc.)
3. How did you feel as a result of that response?

When you start to understand the way in which you personally experience stress (we all handle it differently, and we’re all stressed out by different things), you’ll be better equipped to combat that stress. How, you ask? That depends. Stress-management is a very individual thing – it’s all about discovering what works for you.

To help you in figuring this out, I’m starting a regular feature on Smart Girls Know where I offer different stress-reduction strategies. Today’s suggestions are for short-term, in-the-moment, stress relief (perfect for those stress-fueled moments that make you feel like you’re about to explode).

10 Stress Busters for Immediate Relief

1. Scream into a pillow
2. Escape with a video game, TV show, or really funny movie
3. Get some fresh air
4. Take a brisk walk
5. Take a hot shower
6. Break your routine (walk home from school a new way, explore a new place, etc.)
7. Do a muscle check, notice where you are carrying tension, and focus on relaxing
8. Find a “theme song” that makes you feel happy, calm, and hopeful
9. Give yourself a head massage
10. Plan a reward for later in day (think of something to look forward to)

If you’re looking for more in-depth strategies on chilling out, check out in my book Chill: Stress-Reducing Techniques for a More Balanced, Peaceful You!