25th Anniversary of Turning 15

Today I celebrate the 25th anniversary of my 15th birthday. That’s right… I’m turning 40. (Yikes!)

Since I spend much of my time reliving my teens through my work, it’s kind of strange to be hitting this milestone. So, I feel compelled to do some reflecting and write a letter to that 15-year-old girl of the 80s I was 25 years ago…the one with bad hair, an obsession with the hurdles, no boobs, and a need to play Oingo Boingo so loud it would rock the house. There’s just a few things I’d like her to know about life and how things all work out.

Dear Debye,*

I know that you’re having a really rough year…the toughest you’ve had so far. And so I wanted to send you a letter to let you know that you’re are going to get through it all. No matter how much you feel like you’re waiting for life to begin, it will happen. Trust me. And not only that, you are are going to be just fine. Happy even. BTW…I know that it’s kind of odd to be receiving a letter from your future self, but I wanted to share a few important things with you:

• You should probably know that you’re not going to get a full scholarship to UCLA or USC to run track. You’re fast, but not that fast. But please know that your love of running will always be a part of you, and you’ll run marathons and 5ks and still get the thrill of competition for as long as you want it.
  
• Despite that really awkward and yes, gross, kiss John Stevenson** gave you while on a winter church retreat, kissing will get much better, I promise. And you’ll never have to kiss that guy again!
• I know you like to go for laughs and have a tendency to be a class clown, but you don’t have to be a goofball to get attention or make up for your insecurities. Don’t sell yourself short…you are more capable than you know…you have the uncanny ability to achieve whatever you set your mind to.
• You’re never going to be tall and skinny…no diets, obsessive working out, or visualizing is gonna do it. But don’t worry… you’ll eventually make peace with your body (although, truth be told, you’ll never fully love your thighs).
• Don’t worry about trying to be a certain way to get a guy to like you. Seriously. There are many boys out there who would like you just the way you are. And while we’re on the subject, please don’t turn to boys for help boosting your self-esteem…you’ll only be left feeling used and empty.
• It may not seem like it right now, but your sister isn’t your enemy. In fact, she will ultimately be your absolute best friend in life. You’ll turn to her for everything and will be thankful every day that you have her. (It’s true!)
• Your suspicion that the music of the 1980s is genius is spot on. You will still love listening to U2, The Smiths, The Cure, and other 80’s greats for years to come.
  
• I know that you’ve dreamed of moving to NYC since seeing FAME for the very first time. Well, you’ll get to make your dream come true. And despite the lack of people dancing in the streets and tap dancing in wet subway stations, it’s everything you hoped it would be, and more.
• However much you dream of having thick, curly hair, perms are never the answer. And neither is teasing your hair for that matter. Use product sparingly and enjoy your hair for what it is!
• I know that you believe you’re destined to not be happy. Well, let me be the first to tell that you will indeed be happy. In fact, you’ll eventually realize that once you stop worrying about things that are beyond your control and start focusing on living in the moment, you have the ability to create the life you want for yourself.

Well, that’s about it. I hope this letter helps you as you go through the rest of your teen years. Just remember, it will get easier. Your feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, and confusion won’t last forever. And if I can give you one word to hold onto as you journey through the next 25 years of your life, it would be this: BELIEVE. In yourself, in others, in the possibilities.

With love,

Your future self, on her 40th birthday

* I began spelling my name Debye (pronounced Debbie) in the 80s because a friend suggested it seemed more interesting and original

**Names have been changed to protect the innocent (or bad kissers, as the case may be)