Smart Girls Know Affirmation: Smart Girls Know To Consider Advice Carefully
When you’re super stressed out or have a major dilemma going on in your life, do you turn to your friends or family for helpful advice? If you’re like most of us, when you pour your heart out to a friend about a tough situation, you’re looking for someone to tell you you’re not crazy, let you know they support you, and tell you exactly how to move forward in the least stressful way possible.

Sometimes advice can be a great thing. It can give us:

• a new perspective on a challenging situation
• feedback from someone who’s (potentially) not as emotionally connected as we are
• information we may not be aware of
• comfort in knowing that there is a way to deal with whatever is at hand

On the flip side, advice can also:

• make us feel more stress about an already difficult situation
• confuse us by planting new ideas in our head
• get us more worked up than we initially were
• give our power away by putting someone else’s perspective above ours

Be Smart About Advice

Here are some ideas for being smart about the advice you give and get:

• Consider the source: Sure, everyone has their own perspective, but everyone also has their own motives. Even if your advice-giver has your best interests at heart, they still come to the situation with their own set of baggage. When you do seek out advice, get it from people you trust and admire and whose ethics are in-line with yours.
• Don’t be rash: When you get advice about how to handle a situation, don’t just take her word for it and go into action. Take your time, weigh your options carefully, and make sure that following the advice is something you’re comfortable with.
• Play out the scenario: When you’re thinking of taking someone’s advice, try to determine what the possible outcome of moving forward in that way might actually be. Even if you can’t see the future, you can at least get a sense of what might happen as a result of following the advice. Then make sure it feels good to you!

Need Some Advice?

Of course, there are lots of great places to go for advice, beyond your friends and family and nearest and dearest. Here are a few ideas on where to turn the next time you need another point of view:

• teen and tween magazine advice columns
• your favorite authors, mentors, and heroes (just be prepared to wait a while for a reply)
• Real Girls, Real Advice with Jess
• It’s My Life
• Teen Advice.com
• Student.com

For a little more on ADVICE, check out my must read book of the month below, A Little Friendly Advice!

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Do you have questions you’ve been dying to ask your favorite YA authors? My publisher, Simon Pulse, is holding its first Pulse Blogfest. From March 14 – 27, you’ll be able to interact with your favorite authors (including me!), have them answer your questions, and get bonus content from a ton of authors. There are more than 50 authors participating in this blogfest with me, including:

Marc Aronson, Avi, Judy Blume, Jennifer Bradbury, Deb Caletti, Janet Lee Carey, Rachel Cohn, Sharon M. Draper, E.R. Frank, Lorie Ann Grover, Karol Ann Hoeffner, Ronald Kidd, Julie Linker, Phyllis Reynolds Naylor, Deborah Reber, Sonya Sones, Wendy Toliver, Scott Westerfeld, and many more more.

See the complete list of participating authors here or visit my blogfest page here.

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This Month’s MUST READ (and Bonus Interview with the Author!)

I’m so excited to tell you about the new amazing novel , by my friend Siobhan Vivian. I first met Siobhan when I was working for Cartoon Network in Los Angeles, and she was at the Disney Channel. She had a very cool job working for the big cheese of programming, but she had dreams of becoming a YA author. I think it was about 4 years ago that we met for lunch and she told me she was planning to move back to NYC to get her MFA in Creative Writing. Well, she did, and obviously she did something right, because her first novel just came out from Scholastic’s PUSH and it is fantastic!

Here’s what the book’s all about: Ruby’s turning sixteen, and all she wants to do is overdose on ice-cream cake, throw a crazy party, and take tons of pictures with her vintage Polaroid camera. That is, until her long-lost father shows up and instantly turns the sweetest birthday sour. Her three friends–loyal Beth, dangerous Katherine, and gossipy Maria–always give Ruby advice about what boys to kiss and how to dress, and they’ve got a lot to say about her dad’s unexpected return. But really, Ruby’s not sure what to think or feel. Especially when a cute new boy named Charlie comes into the picture … and Ruby discovers some of her friends aren’t as truthful as they say they are.

I’m so happy for Siobhan in taking some pretty big leaps of faith and following her dream, and it’s so exciting to see it pay off. I thought you might want to know more about her journey and how she got to be a big-wig author, so I asked her to answer a few questions for us about the writing life:

When did you first know you wanted to be a writer?
It was during the summer between my junior and senior year in high school. I was enrolled in creative writing class at pre-college program in Philadelphia. The class was called ZINE (an indie magazine) and it was such liberating way to approach creative writing—basically, anything goes in a ZINE. I think I did a spread about Fast Food Horror Stories, an Ode to PeeWee Herman, and a short essay about some idiot boy who had been teasing me at the time. I’d never written much I was passionate about until then (just reports and stuff for school), but once I did…I was hooked!

How did you figure out how to go about becoming a published author?
When I decided that I wanted to try and become an author, I knew very little about the book world. So I enrolled in a MFA creative writing program to get my prose in tiptop shape, and I also got a job as an Editorial Assistant so I could learn the business side of the industry. Both experiences were so helpful in helping to get me published.

What was the biggest hurdle you had to overcome in pursuing your goal of becoming an author?
I’d say the hardest thing for me was to trust the process of trial and error. It’s such a frustrating experience to put time and effort into a story, only to figure out down the road that it might not be working. But for every “mistake” I’ve made, the story gets stronger and stronger, so long as I stick with it. And when you know something finally is working, it’s a totally euphoric feeling!

What is it about writing as a career that is the most challenging?
It can be a lonely job. I’ve been lucky that I’ve made a few great friends who are also writers. We go to a coffee shop together, plug in our laptops, and barely speak to each other for three hours. But it’s nice just to have someone sitting across from you.

What is it about writing as a career that is the most rewarding?
I’ve just started to receive letters from girls who have read my book. To hear that other people, people you don’t even know, have connected with my writing is beyond thrilling. Also, I get a lot of girls who write to tell me that they are in love with Charlie, the boy in A Little Friendly Advice. He’s my total dream boyfriend, and it’s fun that other girls have crushes on him too.

What was the inspiration for A Little Friendly Advice?
I had a girlfriend in high school who was in this really frustrating cycle with her crappy boyfriend. They would fight like crazy, break up, then make up a few days later…over and over again. Our mutual friend eventually got fed up. And one day she said something like, “Do what you want, but don’t come crying to me the next time he hurts you.” I was really taken by this situation, because I could see both sides. I understood why she was frustrated, but I couldn’t imagine abandoning our friend either. So, that’s where the idea came from—a moment where you can be caring and callus at the same time.

Is the life of a writer any different than you expected it would be? And if so, how?
Definitely! I thought I would be more confident approaching my second book, having one novel under my belt. SO NOT TRUE! I think every story is it’s own singular experience, and while you gain experience as you keep writing, you’re always going to feel a little unsure of yourself.

What’s next for you?
I’m working on my second novel. It’s called SAME DIFFERENCE, and it’s partly based on my experience at the summer pre-college program I mentioned above. It’s about a girl named Emily who struggles with having two different identities—depending on whether she’s at home with the popular, suburban friends she grew up with, or hanging out in a city with a super cool, wild new girl she befriends in a summer art class.

To find out more about Siobhan and her book, visit her website here!

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Countdown to CHILL

Lastly, my new book for teen girls, CHILL: Stress-Reducing Techniques for a More Balanced, Peaceful You comes out in just three weeks! I cannot wait to bring this baby out into the word!! Stay tuned for more on this soon…

This is my favorite kind of post! I just found out about this incredible organization started by 8 thirteen- and fourteen-year-old girls called One is Greater Than None (or “1>0”) which is raising money to help rescue children forced into child labor in the West African country of Ghana.

So how did it all start? The girls caught an episode of Oprah last year that talked about the reality of life for many children in Ghana, and they were so moved they decided they had to do something about it. Despite the fact that the cost to rescue just one child from this forced labor cost $4,300, they decided that rescuing one was better than rescuing none, so they set about raising the money to change a child’s life forever.

How did they do it? They designed bracelets, necklaces, and t-shirts and packaged them with information about the plight of these Ghanaian children, as well as their tag line, “Be Part of the Equation.

Since creating One is Greater Than None and raising enough money to rescue one child last June, they have since been able to raise much more money thanks to high profile attention from The Today Show, the Martha Stewart Show, and Teen Vogue, just to name a few.

As of January 2008, the girls of “One is Greater than None” have raised enough money to sponsor eight children. They are currently working on sponsoring a full rescue mission of 25 children, and are raising money through their jewelry sales and a new “1>0” clothing line, which is carried in stores around the country. Visit their site to find out more.

Congratulations girls…you’re not only changing the lives of the children you’re helping in Ghana, but you’re also inspiring the rest of the world!

XOXO Debbie

Hi Smart Girls,

A friend emailed me a copy of an an article from a 1943 issue of Transportation Magazine called “Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency out of Women Employees.” The point of the article was to give managers insight for “selecting the most efficient women available” and “use them to the best advantage.” Seriously.

I know women in the workplace have come a long way since then, but it’s really hard to believe this was written only 65 years ago! Check it out…what is your gut reaction? Can you imagine working in an environment where you’re perceived to be so unequal to your male counterparts? What do you find the most shocking? Share your thoughts!

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1. Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters. They are less likely to be flirtatious. They need the work, or they wouldn’t be doing it. They still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.
2. When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It is always well to impress upon older women, the importance of friendliness and courtesy.
3. General experience indicates that “husky” girls — those who are just a little on the heavy side — are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.
4. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination — one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.
5. Stress at the outset, the importance of time; the fact that a minute or two lost here and there makes serious inroads on schedules. Until this point is gotten across, service is likely to be slowed up.
6. Give the female employee a definite day long schedule of duties so that they will keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Numerous properties say that women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them, but that they lack initiative in finding work themselves.
7. Whenever possible, let the inside employee change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be less nervous and happier with change.
8. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.
9. Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they cannot shrug off harsh words the way men do. Never ridicule a woman — it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.
10. Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl’s husband or father may swear vociferously, she will grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.
11. Get enough size variety in operator’s uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit. This point cannot be stressed too much.

Hi Smart Girls!

If you haven’t checked them out yet, visit ReaderGirlz, a great site for girls who love books. ReaderGirlz was started by four cool fellow women authors from my hometown of Seattle to help girls get the inside scoop on hot books, celebrate strong girl characters in books, have fun while talking about favorite books with the authors, and inspiring girls to make history of their own. See my blog posting about the launch of ReaderGirlz here.

Today is ReaderGirlz one year anniversary…CONGRATULATIONS! ReaderGirlz is celebrating with a new awesome interview with big-time YA author, Sarah Dessen. They’re also announcing a new program called Operation Teen Book Drop – a plan to provide new books for teens in Children’s Hospitals across the country. Check out the website for all the info!

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Also – Justina Chen Headley, one of the founders of ReaderGirlz, is launching a cool, new project with Burton Snowboards – the Go Overboard Challenge Grant. Named after Justina’s new novel, , the Go Overboard Challenge Grant is giving grants of up to $1,000 each for the best youth-led ideas to change the world.

Here’s a quick video about this inspiring challenge:

I absolutely love this idea, since there’s nothing more frustrating than having big dreams for making the world a better place, but not having the resources to get started. Well, if you’ve got an idea to change the world, here’s your big chance…go for it!

XOXO Debbie