AFFIRMATION: Smart Girls Know How to Speak Up for Themselves

There was a time when society thought women should be seen and not heard. Women didn’t vote. They didn’t hold positions of power. Their opinions didn’t count.

Thankfully, those days are gone.

But just because today women and girls in most countries have the right to be heard doesn’t mean that speaking up for ourselves is always easy.

Girls “Lose” Their Voices

Research shows that as most girls enter the teen years, they start to lose their voices. According to a Girls Rights Survey conducted by Girls Inc., one third of girls “say it’s true that girls are expected to speak softly and not cause trouble.” According to Mary Pipher, author of , girls are discouraged from speaking openly and honestly about their opinions.

Have you noticed this change in yourself or in your group of friends? Do you shy away from confrontation because it might be unpleasant? Do you find yourself going along with something you don’t necessarily agree with just because it seems easier than speaking up?

Why Girls Stop Speaking Up

There are many different reasons why you might find yourself less and less likely to speak up for yourself:

• you don’t want to say something that will embarrass you or draw unwanted attention to yourself
• you don’t want to hurt someone else’s feelings
• you’d rather avoid an unwanted confrontation
• you feel that society expects girls to be less vocal than boys
• you think that what you have to say isn’t important or interesting enough
• you put other people’s needs before your own
• sometimes being quiet and not making waves seems like the easier option

Finding Your Voice

I’ve always considered myself somewhat of a “big-mouth,” yet I sometimes find myself on shaky ground when it comes to speaking my truth. I’ve always hated confrontation and usually avoid it at all costs. But one day I realized that this refusal to speak up for myself had a cost of its own – in the form of my self-esteem, my confidence, my emotional well-being.

One day, I decided to find out WHAT IF? What if I said how I really felt? What if I stood up for myself when I was being put down? What if I spoke my truth? What would actually happen?

I’ll admit it was pretty nerve-wracking at first, but I gave it a shot. And I always felt stronger and more empowered after speaking up about a situation that I felt strongly about. People didn’t respond to me negatively and I started to trust in what I had to say and realize its value.

Speak Up!

If you’ve lost your voice, it’s never too late to find it. It’s always there…you just have to give it a chance to be heard. Try speaking up for yourself the next time you’re in one of these situations:

• when someone is trying to pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do
• when you disagree with a comment someone made in a class and you have your own opinion you’d like to share
• when someone confronts you and you want to set the record straight
• when you’re being emotionally or physically bullied
• when a friend says or does something unacceptable, such as make a racist comment towards someone else
• when your significant other says or does things that make you feel bad about yourself
• when you want to challenge a stereotype or label that’s been placed on you

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For more inspiration on speaking up and finding your voice, check out a great book by an amazing woman who has perfected the art of speaking her truth, Arianna Huffington. In , Arianna inspires women and girls of all ages to take back their power and find their voices. As she writes in her introduction:

“We have so much potential, yet we hold ourselves back. if my daughters, and women of all ages, are to take their rightful place in society, they must become fearless.”