Do You Try to Be Sexy?

I just read an interesting article from TIME Magazine called “The Truth About Teen Girls.” The article looks at the supposed trend in teen pregnancies, the popularity of shows that portray teens in sexy situations like Gossip Girls, and the celebrity culture that seems to sexualize young women like Miley Cyrus, and asks the question: are today’s teen girls getting too sexy?

There may be a lot of talk about today’s teens being too sexy too soon, but the article makes some interesting points that don’t necessarily go along with this idea:

• despite all the media attention it’s getting, the rate of teen pregnancies has actually been on a downward trend since 1991
• all teens are not having sex – only 1 in 3 teens 15-17 have had oral sex
• all teens aren’t having random hookups – 2 out of 3 teens who have oral sex are doing it with a partner they are in a relationship with
• teens may want to look like the sexy characters they see in popular shows like Gossip Girls, but that doesn’t mean they want to act like them

When I was a teen, being seen as sexy was something my friends and I definitely wanted. For me it wasn’t because I wanted to have sex with people either – it was because I was trying to find ways to feel good about myself. I don’t think I even gave it much thought at the time…I was just trying to figure it all out.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to look and feel attractive and yes, even sexy. But I think it’s worth asking ourselves what it is we’re actually after when we try be seen a certain way. If we want to be attractive because we’re looking for approval or acceptance or even love from other people, we’ll never find what we’re looking for. There’s only one way to achieve that goal, and it’s all about accepting ourselves for who we are, inside and out.

So what about you? Do you ever try to be sexy? Have you ever considered what your actual goal is in doing this?