Hi Smart Gals,

I wanted to share the news with you about a great new site for girls! Fellow YA author and friend Melissa Walker and her colleague Anne Ichikawa have just launched a new site for smart girls called I Heart Daily. Here’s how Melissa and Anne describe their new venture:

I Heart Daily is a free newsletter of stuff we like. Each day, you’ll find out about one thing: The band you should hear, the girl who’s kicking ass in the world, the lipstick color that looks good on everyone, the designer who doesn’t have a fashion show yet but is completely amazing… you get the idea.

I Heart Daily is broken down into four categories: Fashion, Entertainment, Beauty, and News, and the bite-sized blog posts are the perfect way to keep you in the loop on the latest and greatest. Check it out!

Happy Holidays, Smart Girls!I hope everyone is finding ways to stay peaceful and chill during this strange time in our history. There’s so much talk these days about recession doom and gloom, and it’s all-too-easy to get sucked up into that way of thinking. But really, what’s the point? We can’t control what’s happening in the economy. But we can control how we choose to think and feel about what’s going on.

So, I’ve been focusing on thinking positive thoughts – doing my thankful lists every night, spending time with friends, and putting my energy into fun, creative projects. Smart Girls Know is one of those fun projects, so I’m sending out the last SGK newsletter for 2008! And as this year draws to a close, I wanted to mention a few things I’m especially grateful for:

• my wonderful family, all the way from my fabulous main squeeze down to my dog Baxter
• my fantastic friends, who have reminded me that I’m never alone
• YOU, the young women in my life who share your thoughts, hopes, and dreams with me
• my community of YA authors and other amazingly cool women, which makes me feel incredibly supported
• the opportunity to create a cool, new book series for teens
• inspiring music
• cozy, wool knee-highs
• my love of running
• Strawberry Twizzlers

Thinking about all the things I’m grateful for is a great reminder all the positive in my life. So how about you? I challenge you to grab a piece of paper or open your journal, and jot down at least 5 things you’re grateful for in 2008. It’s a nice way to end the year on a high note as you shift your focus towards the things you hope to see happen in 2009!

And now, without further ado, here is December’s Smart Girls Know Newsletter, featuring:

• Affirmation of the Month: Smart Girls Know How To Be Real
• Ashoka’s Youth Venture Needs Your Help
• This Month’s Must Read: A Bad Boy Can Be Good for a Girl
• Interview with author Tanya Lee Stone
• Teen Memoir Update

Peace & Love, Debbie

Affirmation: Smart Girls Know How to Be Real

Has anyone ever told you to get real? Maybe they were just using an expression, like “get outta here” or “are your serious?” Or maybe they were saying it’s time to actually get real in life.

Getting real is all about letting it all hang out, and no, I’m not talking about skipping the bra or getting a day pass at a nudist camp. I’m talking about being ourselves all the time.

This might seem like a no-brainer, but believe it or not, truly being ourselves doesn’t come naturally to many of us. We’re too worried about how other people will think of us, perceive us, and judge us.

It might be easier to talk about being real by seeing what it looks like to not be real. Here are some examples:

• censoring what you do and say when you’re meeting someone new until you get a better sense of who they are
• holding back at something you’re really good at because you don’t want to come across like you think you’re all that
• only talking about the great things in your life, and staying mum about your challenges, disappointments, and failures

The problem with not being real is that it holds us back in our relationships. Think about it. If we’re always focused on controlling how others view us, they’ll never get to know who we really are. And chances are, the people around us won’t let us in on their real life either.

So, why not try “getting real” and see how it feels for you? You just might find that your refreshing and open approach to life will become infectious! Here’s how to start:

• ignore that voice in your head that tells you what you’re saying isn’t important or interesting
• remember that being open about the things you’re good at doesn’t mean you’re bragging…you’re being honest
• share your disappointments and challenges with other people…reminding them you’re not perfect will help them feel better about not being perfect, too!

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You Can Change the World

Smart girls have the power to change the world, and that’s why Smart Girls Know is partnering with entrepreneurial organization Ashoka, Youth Venture, and Best Buy Co., Inc.. Together, these organizations have created the Best Buy @15 Challenge, which empowers teens ages 13 – 18 to see their ideas for social change come to life.

Now they need you to vote among the 30 finalists to choose the Venture Team project that shines when it comes to creativity, community impact, and sustainability. You can vote online voting through January 9, 2009. Fifteen winning teams of youth social entrepreneurs will each receive $10,000 from the @15 Fund to support their ventures.

What’s in it for you, you ask (besides using your power for good)? Voters can register to win a free iPod shuffle and $500 to donate to their school or favorite nonprofit. In addition, funding is available through this partnership for 300 additional youth-led Venture Teams in the United States.

Find out more here!

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This Month’s MUST READ! A Bad Boy Can Be Good for a Girl by Tanya Lee Stone

I just finished reading Tanya Stone’s powerful debut novel, (couldn’t put it down actually), and have to share it as this month’s must read.

A Bad Boy tells the story of three different high school girls – Josie, Nicolette, and Aviva – who unfortunately all fall prey to a charming senior with smooth moves who wants to sexually conquer as many girls as he can. Luckily, his first victim, Josie, realizes she’s being played before she makes a mistake she won’t be able to take back. She decides to warn other girls at the school about the good-looking predator by scrawling an anonymous note in the one library book she knows all the girls in school eventually read – Judy Blume’s Forever. She ends her warning, Forewarned is forearmed. Forever. Despite the rumors circulating around school and the Forever note, Nicolette and Aviva still get swept up in the boy’s game, and learn painful lessons as a result.

A Bad Boy isn’t one of those happily ever after books – parts of it are painful to read and the girls’ experiences are told in powerful verse that will leave your heart aching – but ultimately it shares with the reader the importance of trusting our gut, believing in ourselves, and knowing we’re worth it.

When author Tanya Lee Stone was asked what she hopes young women know about themselves for the book’s reading guide, she answered, “That they trust themselves. That they should listen to their own voice and not doubt it so much. That they can make mistakes and still be okay. Sometimes you have to take a misstep in order to learn what the right next step is. Following your own instincts will always serve you better than following someone else’s.”

I couldn’t have said it better myself!

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Meet Tanya Lee Stone

Author of Tanya Lee Stone took time out from her writing schedule to chat with Smart Girls Know:

SGK: What is it about writing for teens that appeals to you?

Tanya: Being a teen is simultaneously one of the most exciting and angst-ridden times of life. There’s so much built-in tension, conflict, introspection. It was a great time of life for me and I enjoy reflecting upon it. And creating YA characters is rife with possibilities.

SGK: Is the story (or part of it) based on your own experiences with a bad boy?

Tanya: I certainly had my share of noxious experiences with guys, but none of the specific plot points of the story are autobiographical. Instead, I drew on the emotional truths of figuring out what and who I wanted for myself. It’s all about choices. The choices we make and the paths we take. And how all of those experiences make up who we are and who we ultimately want to be.

SGK: How did you get inside Josie, Nicolette, and Aviva’s heads in such a convincing way?

Tanya: Well first off, thanks for the compliment! Writing Bad Boy was a very natural, almost organic, experience for me. It was the first novel I wrote and I think that inexperience actually helped in an odd way. I didn’t worry so much about whether or not I was doing things “right.” I also tapped into my theater background and did a lot of character role-playing in my head. That, combined with writing in poetry – in the voices I heard the girls speaking in – let me walk in their shoes for a time. I know these girls really well now and have a good sense of who they are and how they would react to almost anything you could throw at them. It’s like having a few extra friends. Weird, right? Oh – and it’s been performed a bunch of times as a short play with teen actors, so if any theater kids are reading this don’t hesitate to get in touch!

SGK: What are you working on now?

Tanya: Ah, I am glad you asked, because everyone reading this is officially invited to participate! I am working on a nonfiction book about the history of the Barbie doll and its impact on girl culture. Did you love Barbie? Hate her? Play with her endlessly? Torment her? Make her just like you–or just like you wish you could be? Just your (150 word or less) story with your first name, and your age, and I might select it for inclusion in Barbie: For Better, For Worse (Viking, 2010).

SGK: Can you share one piece of advice for all the smart girls out there?

Tanya: Always listen to that voice inside – even if it’s faint and small. The more you listen, the stronger it will get. And that voice – YOUR voice – will always show you the way. Trust yourself.

Thanks so much for asking me to stop by, Debbie! Oh, and by the way, if anyone’s looking for me, they’ll find me at my website, as well as on MySpace and Facebook.

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Teen Memoir Update

I’m excited to announce that I’m currently working with three incredibly talented writers on the first round of books in the new teen-authored memoir project I’m developing. Each of the authors is busily working putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) and sharing their unique and interesting perspective on their world.

I’m still looking for authors for the next round of books, so if you’re an avid writer and have a real-life story to tell, and I’ll fill you in on the details and tell you everything you need to know about applying.

 

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Do you have friends who would like Smart Girls Know? Please send them the link to my blog and encourage them to sign up and be part of the SGK community!

Hi Smart Gals,

A few nights ago I was speaking to a group of teens about how to deal with the stress in their lives. We got into a discussion about the kinds of things we say when we’re in a jam or feeling totally stressed out, and a couple of the girls said that their phrase of choice regarding anything that was stupid, stressful, or generally unpleasant was “that’s so gay.”

I cringed.

We sidetracked into a conversation about what that phrase really means, and I realized as soon as I launched into the discussion that these girls hadn’t thought about what was behind the words they were saying. I knew they meant no offense…they just weren’t thinking. And hey, I’d done the same thing back in college when I thoughtlessly used the phrase when talking to a gay friend. He was like, “That’s so WHAT?” and I realized what I was saying.

Check out this great public service announcement that was recently made about this very issue:

Hi Smart Gals,

A few nights ago I was speaking to a group of teens about how to deal with the stress in their lives. We got into a discussion about the kinds of things we say when we’re in a jam or feeling totally stressed out, and a couple of the girls said that their phrase of choice regarding anything that was stupid, stressful, or generally unpleasant was “that’s so gay.”

I cringed.

We sidetracked into a conversation about what that phrase really means, and I realized as soon as I launched into the discussion that these girls hadn’t thought about what was behind the words they were saying. I knew they meant no offense…they just weren’t thinking. And hey, I’d done the same thing back in college when I thoughtlessly used the phrase when talking to a gay friend. He was like, “That’s so WHAT?” and I realized what I was saying.

Check out this great public service announcement that was recently made about this very issue:

Hey SmartGirls!

As many of you know, I’m working with a publisher to create a new series of nonfiction teen “memoirs,” written by teen girls for teen girls. If you’re between the ages of 12 – 18 and have a few minutes to answer some questions about the development of the series, I’d love to hear from you!

Just with your first name and age, and I’ll send you the questions. BONUS: The first 10 girls who write back to me will win a free copy of one of my books (your choice)!

Cheating on tests and flirting with shoplifting has been part of the teen experience for as long as I can remember (certainly it was going on when I was a teen in the 80’s and 90’s). But according to an article by the Associated Press, today’s teens are cheating and stealing more than ever. The article refers to a recent study by the Josephson Institute, which surveyed nearly 30,000 students from 100 different high schools nationwide.

Here are some surprising stats from the study:

• In the past year, 64% of U.S. high school students have cheated on a test
• 35% of boys and 26% of girls acknowledged stealing from a store within the past year
• 35% have used the Internet to plagiarize an assignment (up from 33% in 2004)

Considering this generation of teens is the most overscheduled and overstressed of any before, it’s not surprising to me that these numbers are on the rise. The pressure to succeed, stand out, and do it all is overwhelming, and taking short cuts might sometimes seem like the only choice.

Some school administrators, like Andover High School principal Peter Anderson, agree. From the article: “This generation is leading incredibly busy lives – involved in athletics, clubs, so many with part-time jobs, and – for seniors – an incredibly demanding and anxiety-producing college search. We have to create situations where it’s easy for kids to do the right things. We need to create classrooms where learning takes on more importance than having the right answer.”

What do you think? Do you think this study on teen cheating and stealing reflects what you see in your schools and community?

 

Today is World AIDS Day…a day to raise money, increase awareness, fight prejudice, and inspire people to work to improve AIDS education. The day was started in 1988 to remind people that HIV has not gone away, and that there is still much to be done in fighting this disease.

Think AIDS doesn’t affect you? Think again. According to the CDC (Center for Disease Control), 25% of all new cases of HIV in the U.S. are now occurring among teens, ages 13 to 19 (CDC). A majority of teens have begun sex by 16. Yet too many teenagers do not believe they are vulnerable to HIV/AIDS. Concerned friends can help save their young friends from making errors in judgment that could negatively impact their lives.

In honor of World AIDS Day, I’m reprinting information I found on the Metro TeenAIDS website – a community health organization dedicated to supporting young people in the fight against HIV/AIDS, including tips for practicing safe sex that can help protect you.

People who have HIV don’t look or act any differently from uninfected people. They may even seem very healthy. HIV usually takes several years to cause AIDS, so HIV carriers may not know they have it. You get HIV by exchanging body fluids with someone who’s already infected. This means you can get HIV by:

• having sex with an infected partner (male, female or transgender)
• sharing needles (for tattooing, piercing, or drugs) with an infected person

HIV doesn’t care who you’re having sex with or who you’re sharing needles with. Once HIV is in your bloodstream, that’s it — you’re infected also. AIDS is a result of being infected with HIV. AIDS is a disease which destroys your body’s immune system. This means that people with AIDS can’t fight off illnesses. The sorts of things that aren’t a big deal to healthy people, like the common cold, are very dangerous to AIDS patients.

Here are some safe sex practices: starting with the ones that will keep you the safest!

• Don’t have sex. Abstaining from sex is the best way to keep yourself free from HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases.
• If you haven’t had sex yet, consider waiting until you are in a committed relationship with the same person for more than 6 months. Then if you feel ready to have sex, both of you can go get tested for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases.
• If you’re already sexually active, using a latex condom every time during sex can protect you from getting HIV and other STDs.

For more information about HIV/AIDS, check out these websites:

• Metro TeenAIDS
• World AIDS Day
• KidsHealth
• Learn the Link Webisodes
  
• Advocates for Youth
• HIV and Teens